You're Not a Girl?
by Marauder Number Fiive
Summary: Sequel to 'Summer' Lily seeks revenge on Potter for the Summer comment and learns his name in the process. Set in their Third Year. R


**I don't own Harry Potter.**

Third Year Gryffindor Lily Evans completely and utterly humiliated. After her little run in with Potter on her way down to dinner, the prick seemed to have told anyone who would listen about it. And sadly, quite a few people liked to hear Potter talk. The incident had happened three days ago and people were still coming up to her, calling her Summer.

Lily had decided that she needed revenge. But she couldn't go straight up to Potter, that would make it look like she was some sort of psychopath that was targeting the boy. What she needed was for Potter to approach her. She knew that if she waited, the messy—haired hormonal driven boy would come to talk to her again.

Lily got her chance on Thursday at lunch. "Hey there _Lily_," Potter said, dragging out her name. He had made that a habit of his ever since learning her birth name.

"Potter," she said cordially.

"Oh, _Lily_," James said playfully. "I insist that you call me by my first name, assuming that you know it of course."

"Oh _Denise_," Lily said just as playfully. "Of course I know your name!"

"Lils…Denise is a girl's name"

"Oh. You're not a girl?" Here, Lily feigned shock.

"Evans, look at me. Of course I'm not a girl." James was getting irritated, hence his calling her Evans again.

"But I have looked at you. Your hair is so long, it nearly reaches your chin. Your voice is rather high still and your hips are rounded, giving them a girly sort of appearance. Oh and you've been gaining a little wait, making your chest seem a little…bigger." The two Gryffindors had attracted a small crowd now. After all, it's not every day that someone has a go at The James Potter.

"Evans!" James cried out, embarrassed. "I called you hot! Girls do not call other girls hot!"

"Potter I hate to tell you this, but there are such things called lesbians," Lily said slowly, as if she was talking to a toddler.

"I'M NOT A GIRL!" James roared. "And I'll prove it!" James stood up and removed his robes. He then lifted the grey t-shirt he was wearing underneath and showed Lily his chest. "See?" he said. "Nothing."

As he put his shirt back down, Lily answered, "I don't know, your nipples were a bit tender for my liking."

James lost it. "EVANS! My first name is James. JAMES. That is not a girl's name!"

"I understand now," Lily nodded. "You're a transvestite!"

Potter was quite fed up by now. "Oh yes, Lily! How did you ever figure out that I'm a cross-dresser named Denise?"

"I'm just that smart," Lily finished. Turning to her lunch, she planned on ignoring Potter for the rest of his life. Of course she knew he really wasn't a girl – it was just too fun to insult his masculinity in public.

"Hey Lily," he said poking her in the side, making her jump. An evil grin crossed his face. "Hey Lily," he repeated, poking her again. "You're not ticklish are you? Hey Lily." Poke. "Hey Lily." Poke. "Hey Lily." Poke.

"Potter is your middle name Laryngitis?" she finally snapped.

"No it's Matthew," he said confused. "Is Laryngitis some sort of odd Muggle name?"

"No I just asked because you're a real pain in the neck," Lily snapped. Picking up her sandwich, she stormed out of the Great Hall.

"Tough luck with her mate," Sirius said clapping him on his back. "There are plenty of other girls out there though." Remus and Peter nodded their heads as they piled heaps of food onto their plates.

"Guys…I think I'm in love with her," James said.

Little did James know was that he would regret that statement as much as he would regret his first blowout with Evans. One of the spectators in the crowd was Rita Skeeter, the Fifth Year editor of _The Hogwarts Hearsay_. The next edition's headline read _Third Year Quidditch Star Admits to Being a Lesbian Cross-Dresser Named Denise in Love with Local Girl Genius_!

For the next month James was called Denise Laryngitis and was not allowed to change in the Quidditch locker rooms with the rest of the team.

**A couple of people requested that I write a sequel to 'Summer?' where Lily finds out James' name. It's not the greatest, but I'll live. Review!**

**Isabel**


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